Saturday morning found Mr. Right and I at the commissary for some grocery shopping. I forgot it was a hectic and intense pay day weekend. Boy, in the olden days, I knew to the penny what day was pay day and Mother Hubbard certainly had to fill up the cupboards with two hungry boys/teenagers to keep fed and growing. Yikes, I remember back in the day if the bill was not around $300.00 I was a bit concerned. I knew I must have forgotten something! I could pack two carts completely full and have things hanging off the sides, use coupons AND have three lists. One list for me, one for each boy. Each boy had a calculator with his mission clearly mapped out. I knew how to keep them involved and busy/helpful. I was one organized military wife/mom.
I am much more calm now. I can fill a portion of one cart. I use a list now only for things out of the ordinary. 28+ years later, I am pretty good at knowing what we need to get through a couple of weeks.
My mind can wander a bit. I was listening actually eavesdropping on several conversations. I was thinking of Wonder Girl and G.I.Joe starting a life and how fun grocery shopping was in the beginning for all of us young marrieds. Was I ever shocked to over hear how some folks talk to their spouses! They were down right rude. I could even go so far as to say mean and nasty. One gal was having a mean discussion on her cell phone for an isle or two. I went back to a different isle to "loose" my place and pick up with someone else to follow. Raised voices and bickering were not uncommon as we cruised the grocery isles. My eyes got a little teary eyed as I listened to the way some parents spoke so harshly and mean to their children. It was a sad, sad thing for me to listen to.
BE NICE. Because nice matters!!!! Treat your loved one the way you want to be treated.....hey I got a million of these, I can keep going. In this day and age, there is no reason on earth to "have to be married". There is no longer a social sigma attached to a single 35 year old women. So, being adults of sound minds, and you choose to marry or be together..... BE NICE.
In a small black frame hangs a sign in our kitchen, "There is no more lovely, friendly, and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage."
I read a book tonight "Call me Joe" by Jack Greene. The author is a man of integrity. I learned hope and love and compassion something I did not see coming when I began the book. Mr. Greene writes,"when we love, we are loved, we are in the presence of God." In another chapter he states "When we were growing up we never heard our mother or father say a negative word to each other" He and his siblings learned to love by watching and listening.
We all need to practice being nice to our spouses. The way we speak should be soothing and with kindness. You can tell every single person you meet how much to love, adore, respect, like ...your spouse, but if you don't talk with love and kindness to each other than you are just fibbing about loving them.
"Grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It's a way to live."
(j. windspear)
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