Thursday, May 12, 2011

bits of goodness

I am not a huge fan of chocolate. However, every once in a while... I am willing to eat some fake chocolate and take two Benedryl because I just want some. Well maybe six. Okay, seven.

Okay, Keebler, Grasshopper Fudge Mint Cookies pretty much remind me of Girl Scout Thin Mints.

No, it doesn't fix knee pain, no it is not organic, no it is not healthy nor is it good for you. I paid a couple dollars for a chemical laden bag of not real dead food.

....Oh but, so good. Totally worth a tiny indulgence.

The end.

I do, but....

I love, really love watching my husband marry two people. I love knowing the "behind the scenes" just how much he has prepared to make that service a moment of importance. I am proud as I watch him interact with the people gathered. Hearing his voice and his deep emotional connection within the moment, well it melts my heart. Every single time, I watch him preform a ceremony, I know just how lucky that couple is.

Recently, when a couple about to be married in a few months, came to him and said they didn't want any "God stuff" in the ceremony......all sorts of emotions came to the surface. Not all my thoughts on this topic were kind and loving. For us and our family and friends, the "God stuff" is what holds us together. It is the tie that binds. The "God stuff" pretty much is the "reason for the season". Oh I got a million of 'em!

I want to quote all sorts of relevant Bible verses. I want to explain in detail how the "God stuff" has lifted up our marriage to a higher level. I want to sit the couple down and wag my finger and tell them it takes more than two ordinary people to make this thing called marriage work. I can see myself getting red in the face and with fierce determination explaining that marriage is holy. It is of value. It is important. We follow customs and rituals, we view what we have built and worked for as an outward appearance of a sincere and deep commitment to our faith and our Creator. We have been blessed with being the guardians of this relationship and are called upon to nourish it and ultimately will be asked to answer for how we respected the institution of marriage.

Two months ago, Mr. Right and I marked our 29th anniversary. Next week our friends will celebrate 37 years of marriage. The following week, a widow we know will sadly walk for the first time through what would have been their 54th anniversary. We have friends who just did the happy dance as they celebrated one year of marriage. Come September my brother and sister in law will celebrate with joy 44 years of a solid marriage. They will all tell you that not every single day has been happy go lucky, care free and blissful. Some of those days and moments have been spent on their knees. Some days are just so blasted hard to go through. Sometimes you just give up and let the "God stuff" take over.

Then Mr. Right speaks up. By standing strong in my faith, speaking with kindness and grace, gently but firmly and with sincerity sharing the "God Stuff" during the marriage ceremony, possibly I can teach and lead this couple in the direction of a Christian strong marriage? Maybe by standing up for and being an example of what I believe to be the truth, I will be the small light that will guide them on the path?

Instead of jumping up and down and yelling and screaming "What do you mean you don't want any "God stuff?" this might be the perfect opportunity for quiet strength. This could be a teaching moment of goodness to reveal itself. The gentle but oh so very strong reminder that love conquers all.

"I never knew how to worship until I knew how to love". H. Beeche

Mr. Right sincerely feels it is an honor to marry two people. You can hear it by listening to his voice. You feel privileged watching as the ceremony unfolds. You feel like you are witnessing something of importance. Most of the couples he marries are so giddy with nerves or happiness that they won't really remember the words that are spoken. My guess is that they remember the feeling of being lifted up and celebrated, embraced with kindness, love and guidance.

...and the two shall be called one. matt.19:5

Monday, May 9, 2011

mother's day surprise

I was sort of caught by surprise yesterday. It was Mother's day. Sure you hope you will be remembered. I was. You hope you get great food and cards and maybe a giftie or two. I did. You secretly hope you get a phone call or two. I did. You sort of hope that even though your Mr. Right says "you are not my mother", he still remembers you with a funny card and gorgeous flowers. He did.

You just don't imagine the moment when your grown up boys act like grown up men. Your breath is sucked away, just for a moment. You feel like you are sitting there watching a movie. You are really there, it just seems like you are watching it or listening to it unfold in slow motion.

When you catch a snippet of a conversation...son number 1 apparently took grandgirlie to the store a couple weeks ago to buy a mother's day card..........your heart beats an extra time. (He thought ahead, he planned, he included a little girl in the planning.) When you take a peek at the card and notice that he had an 8 month old "sign" said card, you secretly smile.

When you notice a luscious, full, gorgeous bouquet of blush long stemmed roses, you are instantly grateful that Mr. Right taught the dad/husband lessons very, very well.

When you unwrap son number 2 presents, you are over the moon happy with the thoughtfulness. You see we "had" these ice cream dishes that everyone hated. When you scraped your spoon on the side the strange frosted glass, it made a creepy high pitched, fingernails on chalkboard kind of screech. urgh. He said enough. It was way past time to replace them. No, do not donate the old ones to Goodwill. Wrap them in brown paper and take a hammer to them and smash the living daylights out of them! When I opened the special sprinkles....well he had me. I love sprinkles. Even when the boys were little I would use sprinkles on their oatmeal! I just thought it would make them happy and want to eat. Heck sometimes, we would use sprinkles on mashed potatoes! When they were little they loved it. When they were teenagers they thought it was lame. When they came home from college, they just thought I was goofy. Now, they are sending me sprinkles because they know it makes me happy and I am guessing it makes them happy too.

Just when you think you are strong enough to handle most everything.....you see your Mr. Right holding and whispering sweet nothings into your grandgirlie's ear and making her laugh and he looking so proud and happy. Grace washes over you and it feels lovely.

Just when you think you are strong enough to handle most everything.......you see your 6.2', big tattooed armed son feeding his sweet daughter beets. You see him teasing her and making her laugh. Grace washes over you and it feels lovely.

Just when you think you are strong enough to handle most everything.....you are talking on the phone with your 6.4', tall tattooed armed son and he says, nope, I don't want you to pass the phone to Dad, I can talk to him any other day of the year. We just want to talk with you. Grace washes over you and it feels lovely.

I am grateful and happy, really happy that I have come this far. Far enough to be still and watch and listen. Grace happens and this time I was in the moment and it unfolded right before my very eyes.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

"the" cure

I haven't slept through the night, since well sometime the end of March. sigh.
Too much "stuff" on my brain, I guess.

Imagine, just imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning and it was time to get up? My head felt fine, I wasn't tangled up in the sheets and blankets with a smooshed (yes, that is a word) pillow. Imagine, hearing my dog's tail wag happily instead of her being a little out of sorts at three in the morning, wondering why I was bothering her?

So like any good golfer or intense hockey player............both being rather superstitious........I had to figure out what the "lucky" combination was. I wanted to repeat it over and over and over.

I think maybe the answer lies in the events of yesterday. The day was saturated in sunshine. Not too hot, just right Goldilocks. There were no medical appointments.
Only one important thing planned. The clock was ticking. Noon, that was the target
time.

A car drives into our driveway, a lady jumps out and comes up to the door. Yeah! Time for lunch.

The dining room table was set, ready and waiting. Sitting atop jaunty blue and yellow floral place mats were white plates with blue and white toile napkins (actually 8 kitchen towels I purchased to use as cloth napkins, which iron beautifully, by the way.) The good silverware and nice crystal glasses were empty and ready to be filled and used. A little gift wrapped and placed near a bread plate.

I have these wild blue, yellow, rose, green swirled pasta bowls. I filled the bowls with spring greens and English cucumbers and juicy tomatoes, hard boiled eggs and smoked Gouda and marinated grilled shrimp, lots of shrimp. Then made a little dressing with a surprise lime twist. Served with a bowl of cashews so you could toss on as many as you want and then some. Filled the glasses with Pelligrino and had a stack of Pecan Orange cookies freshly baked and calling our names. A bowl of strawberries just taunting us.

We dug into those luscious salads and then it happened. Without us knowing it, somehow the hands of the clock moved. Oh sure we gobbled up our salads and drank lots of water and laughed and talked and figured out the world's problems and talked some more. We talked sewing (a favorite topic) and kids and husbands and weather and trips.

We each opened a card (one lovely one funny) and a present.

Somehow almost four hours slipped by. We heard our phones ring a couple of times in the background. We didn't even flinch. Now I know you are thinking FOUR hours? We were in our own suspended time of grace. Just light hearted happiness. Time sort of didn't matter.

Actually, she had to leave to attend a very important six year olds' birthday party of macaroni and cheese and brownies. Yes siree, it was dinner time!

The question my friend, "how do I sleep through the night?" The answer, spend four hours of the day before, being happy. Spend the time laughing and sitting and drinking water. Spend the day lifting another human being up in grace. Spend the time talking of goodness and satisfying work and hobbies. Spending time with someone you feel lucky to be with.....and there is your answer.

That my friend is a recipe for sweet dreams.

"Charm: the quality in others that makes us more satisfied with ourselves".

ps. It sort of helps too, if you are also celebrating each other's birthdays!
pss. Both birthday girls need to be wearing super sparkly, over the top, covered with bling, new sassy spring sandals.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Lucky girl

You know to the tips of your gorgeous purple sparkly toe nails that you are lucky when:

a box comes in the mail containing handmade jaunty yellow and black woven potholders from your special niece.

the same box contains a tea towel with a perfectly cross stitched daffodil jumps out at you and makes you smile.

as you are driving along, you see a little girl about three playing in the dirt and talking to an imaginary friend. She has on jeans and a t-shirt and a bridal veil. It makes you smile.

You know you are lucky when you hear then get to see a woodpecker happily eating at your bird feeder.

That's me, Lucky Girl.

..in sickness and in health...

You don't actually think you are going to "cash in" on words that you promised 29 years ago.

Today was the day. After a morning that I would rather forget about with medical STUPID stuff......

Mr. Right took me out for orange juice a a Krispie Kreme donut. Here is a side note...we bought the boys KK stock years ago for a fun Christmas gift. Also so they could learn and follow the stock market. We paid about $38.00 per share. Today it is worth about $1.98 a share. "great" educational tool..... ha ha

Anyhoo, back to our original program...

We were in the car going a bit over 65 miles per hour in the fast last of I-5. I said I didn't feel well. Good thing the two donuts came in a bag, if you get my thoughts here. Yep, right in the middle of all that traffic, and pavement and in my husband's car... I tossed my cookies.

He really was actually not mad. (you KNOW how clean his car usually is) He was frantically trying to get the car over to an off ramp. He smoothly found a place to pull over and for me to get some fresh air and re-group. He said all the right things and patted my back and didn't make fun of me or make me feel stupid.

He just went on talking and driving like nothing out of the ordinary happened. poof! gone! done!

Right smack dab in the middle of an average, normal, boring life you find out the contract is iron clad. You find out you can "cash in" whenever the need arises.

...so lets talk about the part that reads "for richer or ...." just kidding.

I feel pretty rich. I chose wisely.

ps. sweet California daughter in law was not feeling well yesterday. Son number two brought her a milkshake, took her to buy her phone (a newer model than his) then made dinner. Mr. Right trained them well.

Monday, May 2, 2011

The wisdom of my refrigerator magnet

Growing up we had all sorts of mismatched refrigerator magnets stuck randomly all over the door of said appliance. When I went to Quebec for the first time to meet my soon to be in-laws they had a refrigerator in the garage that was covered with 'em. When the boys were teenagers we had magnetic words. Supposedly to teach poetry...you can imagine what was invented and moved around. Now a days, Mr. Right has a metal book case in our garage that he uses for paint and supplies that men "need" in a garage. (I will say, I love to borrow sandpaper and paint and brushes and thingamajigs from his stash.) His metal book stand is covered with all kinds of magnets. They advertise this and that. I am not sure if we ever do need a lawyer, we will scurry out to the garage and look through all the magnets to get the number of the man who advertised on an old phone book by using that weird "gummy" glue stuff to adhere his magnet that includes: picture, logo and phone number? If we are ever in a pickle with plumbing issues, instead of being panic stricken and worried & frantically using the Blackberry for a phone number to call....there are at least four different magnets with plumbers logos, claims and phone numbers printed boldly just waiting for us to snatch it off the metal and run wildly to the phone to call for help.

I do have a couple of magnets on our refrigerator. One is oval shaped and is hot pink with a clear bubble over the words "Make the Choice to be Grateful."
I read it several times a day. Everyday.

Instead of being tied up in knots today over some stupid medical appointment tomorrow. I am going to heed the words of the powerful magnet.

I am grateful that I have a friend who dropped off a surprise package the night before the last medical appointment. The bag had circles all over it. Come to find out those were not circles. The gift included bubble solution and bubble pipes, and wands and a really, really big round bubble wand that makes tons of bubbles at once. I played outside. Actually played and made tons of bubbles and twirled around until I was a bit dizzy. I forgot about the world for a moment.

I am grateful that while resting (boring) and shuffling through what next library book to read................a card fell out. A book I had ordered and Mr. Right picked up for me had a card sealed in an envelope with my name on it. (spell correctly, which in itself makes me smile). The card was covered with flowers and good wishes and warm thoughts from my FAVORITE, sweet, sassy, curly girl, librarian! Imagine my surprise and wonderment trying to figure out who put a card in a book I ordered? I am sort of wishing her real name was Nancy. I want to call her Fancy Nancy, just like she dressed up for Halloween. See what I mean about her being so sweet? I want to be like her when I grow up!

I am making the choice to be grateful because a surprise box came in the mail last week. Many of you know that Mr. Right and I send 5-6 college care packages a month. Pretty steady since son number one went to college back in 2000. We have friends who have kids in college, or someone we met, or heard about. Or a sister of a friend and on and on. Sadly, we also send military care packages WAY TOO OFTEN FOR WAY TOO LONG NOW. I try and make the care packages useful and funny and fun and light hearted. I try and tuck in things that no college kid could afford or military person could not get their hands on. Sometimes I go with a theme or a color like my Lucky Charms packages I sent out for March. Think how dumbfounded I was when a care package arrived for ME? A college kid in law school with NO extra spending money, sent me a care package. It had jacks and crayons and color books and a stuffed animal and a painting craft and a sewing craft and the nicest card you ever read. It said, I am going to be super busy studying, so I want to send you a little box of happiness that might help you get better after your surgery. OH MY GOODNESS, I have never in my life (even in college) received a care package! I am humbled and oh so grateful.

In case you might have forgotten, Grace Happens. It is our choice to see it.